"In Vino Veritas"

A collection of dark thoughts and other creations of a brainless brain.

Slow connection? Don't like pictures?
Better read the naked truth.

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Disease

I think I'm suffering from Alz ...

What's the name again of that disease?

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Age

Most people of my age ...

... are much older than me.

Wednesday, May 22, 2008

Intolerance

As soon as you come in contact with an intolerant person you become infected.

Intolerance is a contagious disease.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Dumber

I observe how people think that they are clever, ...

... while in fact, they are not, ...

... and I wonder if I am just as stupid.

... No way!!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Average

I would rather have an average weight or an average income, 

... than an average intelligence.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

My time

People tell me that "in their time, things were better".

Not in my time.

My time still has to come, and things will be worse.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Godless

If God existed she would have outlawed religions ...

... First commandment: Thou shalt not religiate.

Friday, April 4, 2008

Rolling Stone

How does it feel
How does it feel
To be without a home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

... It feels real bad!

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Say nothing

Silence is a powerful way of speaking ...

... If you say nothing, you are saying a lot.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Books and movies

We invented printing ... and filming ...

Now there are more books than I can ever read ... more movies than I can ever see ...

... and I am bored.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Neutral

Experience taught me: you can either feel happy, or unhappy, or neutral ...

... But I am not sure. Is it better to be half the time happy and half the time unhappy? ...

... or all the time neutral?

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Upset

If you upset me ...

... I will be upset.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Gone

With ambition, idealism and optimism gone ...

... what else is there to live for?

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Old enough

How old do I need to be ...

... to have enough experience ...

... to keep the people who I love happy?

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Die for it

Nothing is worth dying for ...

... except perhaps ...

... the right to die.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Intelligent

What's the use of intelligent people ...

... if they don't think?

Thursday, January 24, 2008

No smoking

I decided not to smoke ...

... except during my own cremation.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Wheel

When you are busy reinventing the wheel ...

... don't forget to reinvent the road.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Crazy people

It's easier to love crazy people ...

... than normal ones.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Homo sapiens

Homo sapiens is the scientific name for modern man. It is Latin, and translated it means "wise man", "clever man", "knowing man" or "thinking man".

... so it looks like we are not even clever enough to give ourselves a proper name.

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Try to explain

There is no need to tell clever people how clever they are ...

... and it is impossible to explain to stupid people how stupid they are.

Friday, November 9, 2007

Health

Your health is your most valuable possession ...

... but would you rather be healthy without any friend/partner/wife/husband/son/daughter ...

... or sick with somebody who cares for you?

Monday, September 10, 2007

Growing up

Girls mature earlier than boys ...

... at least 60 years earlier.

Friday, September 07, 2007

Real problem

We have only one real problem ...

... which happens to be a solution to all our problems ...

... Mortality.

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Friends

Divorce wouldn't be so bad ...

... if you wouldn't loose half of your friends in the process ...

... in my case 85 percent.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Old boy

I feel like a 20 years old boy ...

... in a 40 years old body ...

... being 50, the boy is worried.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Life expectancy

With life expectancy growing ...

... we expect more from life ...

... but what we get is more repetitions.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Trees

Trees versus people ...

... trees are harmless.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Experience

The problem with life experience is ...

... that it can prevent you from experiencing life.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Consumer

We are all consumers ...

... feeding on our environment as voracious caterpillars ...

... but will we reincarnate as butterflies?

Friday, August 17, 2007

Clever

I don't make the same mistake twice ...

... I am too busy trying other mistakes first.

Friday, August 17, 2007

Logic

The only "proof" that God exists ...

... seems to be that nobody can proof that It doesn't exist.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Synergy

Synergy is defined as "The interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects"...

So, if two people together are more stupid than the sum of their individual stupidities, this can be called synergy?

Or should we call it divorce?

Friday, August 10, 2007

Making Movies

Ha, they are now making movies without smoking …

Shouldn't they start making movies without guns?

Or even better, without people!

Friday, August 10, 2007

Social Behavior

In many species of animals which show “social behavior” …

… there are a lot of solitary males.

How social is that?

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Teens

The good thing about teenagers ...

In a few years they become normal people.

Saturday, August 04, 2007

Forget

Many people take training to improve their memory ...

Wouldn't we be better off with training that helps us to forget?

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Miracle

It's a miracle ...

... that brainless people can talk.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Nobody but me

If I were alone in this world ...

I would probably feel less lonely.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Ask first

You are a smoker.
You need a cigarette.

Don't ask me "Do you smoke?"
Ask me "Do you mind if I smoke?"

I will tell you.

Thursday, May 31, 2007

Higher or deeper?

Life has its ups and downs …

Like mountains and valleys …

The birth of my children is still my highest mountain …

Now they are not talking to me … my deepest valley …

Is the mountain higher than the valley deep is?

Friday, May 18, 2007

Driving Statistics

I agree that my driving is below average ...

... but all others drive worse.

Friday, May 11, 2007

The Brain

I'm not a brainless boy ...

I'm a brainless old man.

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Things

Things can always get worse ...

... but things can always get better !!!

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Nothing

I am not religious ...

For me there is nothing after death . ..

That's why ...

... I will try to stay here a bit longer.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Left or Right

My wife was always right.

And I was left ...

... alone.

Sunday, December 31, 2006

Loneliness

Loneliness wouldn't be so bad ...

... if you could share it with somebody.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Language

Music is the universal language ...

... everybody understands music.

It's a pity ....

... that so few people speak music.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Lonely

I'm alone ...

I'm lonely ...

... but I'm alive.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Not Stupid

Most people are so stupid ...

... that they don't know ...

... that they know nothing.

I am not THAT stupid ...

I know it!

Friday, September 01, 2006

Lost Contact

We live in an age of communication ...

Probably ...

... that's the reason why I lost contact with almost all of my friends.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Bad People

The world has two types of people ...

... most people are bad people ...

... the rest are very bad people.

Friday, July 28, 2006

Gods and Angels

Somebody asked me the difference between Gods and Angels.

Angels have wings ...

... even if they don't exist.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Care for your Heart

Take care of your heart!

Regular exercise is of extreme importance , at least 3 times per week!

But who has time to exercise three times every week?

... It would certainly help if we could make weeks a few days longer.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Communication

Most problems in this world are human communication problems!

Unfortunately ...

... we live in an age of communication.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Don't wanna

I don't wanna be right ...

I don't wanna be wrong ...

I don't wanna be left ...

... alone.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Peace

I am a pacifist ...

If looks could kill ...

... I wouldn't look.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Believe me

People always believe me ...

... when I say "I'm stupid".

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Sublimation

Just found out what "sublimation" means ...

... it happens to my brain all the time.

Something wrong

There's something seriously wrong with this world ...

... apart from me.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Nothing

My daughter says: "you're a ..... [beep]"

My son says: "no"

The [beep] in the mirror says nothing.

Friday, June 23, 2006

George Orwell?

All religions are equal, but some religions are more equal than others...

... and for most people, their own religion is the only equal one.

Equally stupid perhaps?

Friday, June 23, 2006

Always right

I am always right ...

... ALWAYS ...

... except when my girlfriend disagrees with me.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Your glass

Remember this:

You can drink from your glass many times ...

... but you can break it only once.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Ocean

The world should be perfect ... perfectly round.

No land ... just one big ocean.

No place for us ... just fish.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Extinction

Dinosaurs went extinct …

... and the mammoth is gone too …

... and where is the Dodo?

Who misses the Dodo?

Cave bears are extinct ... and aurochs, ...

... quaggas, giant deers, Elvis Presley ...

Yes we really miss them … or not?

Let's kill off the whales …

… my instinct tells me that nobody will miss them when we are extinct.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Mirror

Einstein knew it.

Picasso knew it too.

If you put a mirror far enough away ...

... you can see your own profile.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Reincarnation

Too much coffee is bad for my health ...

I don't know if it will kill me, but if it does ...

... I hope to come back as a coffee pot.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Perfect World

Wouldn't it be great to live in a perfect world?

Things could only get worse.

Friday, May 19, 2006

One big family

I have 2 parents ...

I have 4 grandparents ...

I have 8 greatgrandparents ...

I have ... wait, let's make a quick calculation...

2

4

8

16

32

64

128

256

512

1,024

2,048

4,096

8,192

16,384

32,768

65,536

131,072

262,144

524,288

1,048,576

2,097,152

4,194,304

8,388,608

16,777,216

33,554,432

67,108,864

134,217,728

268,435,456

536,870,912

1,073,741,824

2,147,483,648

4,294,967,296

8,589,934,592

So 33 generations ago (which is about 33 x 25 = 825 years ago), I had more than 8.5 billion greatgreatgreat ... great ... people in my ancestor tree.

But ... even now there are "only" 6.5 billion people in this world?

We are one big unhappy family.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

I believe

I believe ...

... that we all want freedom of religion ...

... so that we can believe what we want ...

... and then tell others what to believe.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Bad Memory

I forgot who told me that fish is good for your memory ...

... probably a doctor ...

... who sells fish.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

When I die

Good to know that when I die ...

... everybody's IQ will go up.